My Grandfather owned a dairy farm in Maine, and he had this toy up on a shelf in his office with a bunch of other cow toys. This one was the most realistic, and therefor the most freaky. Also freaky because we weren't allowed to play with it..... » 7/10/10 12:09pm 7/10/10 12:09pm

All Together Now, Everybody Say, "Goodbye, Heather"

Over the past five weekdays, I've sat huddled with you here (metaphorically I mean), all of us bathed in the warm light of our computer screens, looking like we're actually working, when really were snortling at Terrence Howard's misogyny, Marie Claire writer Allison Glock's hypocrisy, reading long narrative… » 8/22/07 7:30pm 8/22/07 7:30pm

TMZ Sincerely, Honestly Cares About The Children

TMZ posted a photo of Courteney Cox and David Arquette with their little daughter Coco Cox rowing happily along in a kayak a little while ago. Coco is sitting her dad's lap, and guess what—she isn't wearing a life jacket! So TMZ got its "Celebrity Justice" knickers all knotted up, and they checked and found that… » 8/22/07 7:00pm 8/22/07 7:00pm

Although it has recently come to our attention that constipation is as much if not more of a problem for women than men, men also have days when they need to induce gentle release—or, in the case of this product from 1936, explosive diarrhea. The happy housewife in this ad from ModernMechanix gave her husband some NR… » 8/22/07 3:45pm 8/22/07 3:45pm

'Sex And The City': Like Your Period, It Just Keeps Coming Back

This summer, the New York Observer has been re-running Candace Bushnell's Sex And The City columns from 1995. We've thought about asking them why, but we know they'll just say something about how "they're as relevant now as they were then" when we know the answer is really, "so we don't have to pay anyone to write… » 8/22/07 1:30pm 8/22/07 1:30pm

Riding The Daily Candy Train, High On Cocaine

We'll tell you what kind of candy they're giving out over at the Daily Candy: The crack kind! Today, administrative assistants and mumsy accountants everywhere recoiled in horror when they realized that the internet's biggest cheerleader for conspicuous consumption was NSFW. At Daily Candy Everywhere a (sexually)… » 8/22/07 11:30am 8/22/07 11:30am

Meet Mark Ames: Hater of Adam Levine And Sufferer Of "Johnny Depp…

Today's New York Observer introduces us to our new crush, Mark Ames, the editor of Moscow-based magazine eXile, who wrote the story that was circulating around the Internet last week in which Adam Levine of Maroon Five ("our generation's Police") was quoted as saying that tennis star Maria Sharparova was like a "dead… » 8/22/07 9:30am 8/22/07 9:30am

It's Official: Being A Woman Kinda Sucks (Except For The Love Of…

Every once in a while it becomes clear that in a lot of ways, being a woman is an unbelievably raw deal. As if it's not enough that once a month blood comes burbling out of our vaginas, as several articles in the news today attest, each stage of our lives tends to be accompanied by the looming threat of some kind of… » 8/21/07 7:00pm 8/21/07 7:00pm

Dear Lauren: What I Can Offer You Is Probably Less Than Most

Lauren and Luke had been dating for several months, and Lauren thought it could become serious, especially when, on Valentine's Day, Luke stared soulfully into her eyes and asked if he could ask her an important question. For the past six months, Luke said, he'd been carrying on a phone and email relationship with a… » 8/21/07 6:30pm 8/21/07 6:30pm

Best Quotes From Ann "Ass Creamer" Coulter Over the Last "Saggysack"…

Some site called 'Right Wing News' has compiled a list of "The Best Quotes From The Last Year Of Ann Coulter Columns." (We think they're totally serious!) Coulter quotables like "Democrats resolutely refuse to tell the poor the secret to not being poor: Keep your knees together until marriage," are pretty funny on… » 8/21/07 6:00pm 8/21/07 6:00pm

What Not To Wear (If You're Fat)

The Mirror has a list of tips on what to wear if you feel you're thin and want to "dress yourself curvy." "Many skinny women don't feel sexy, they feel gawky or boyish." Oh really? Boo-hoo. (Guess what "curvy" women feel like? Shrek!) "Being tall and thin there is a long list of clothes that you can wear," the story… » 8/21/07 2:30pm 8/21/07 2:30pm

Cable TV In India Creating Class Of Feminist Couch Potatoes

There's a piece in Slate today about how in rural India, newly-available cable TV programs featuring strong, educated, working female characters are having an effect on the attitudes of local women. Although something in the tone of the piece annoys — one suspects that the writer, Joel Waldfogel, is kind of an … » 8/21/07 1:00pm 8/21/07 1:00pm

Today God's Creatures Opened Up A Can Of Whup-Ass

In the criminal justice system, sexually-based offenses committed by animals are considered especially heinous. "I'd say it's probably been playing, or it may be even a sexual sort of thing," Queensland police Detective Senior Constable Craig Gregory told the Associated Press earlier today (or yesterday or maybe even… » 8/20/07 7:00pm 8/20/07 7:00pm