My Grandfather owned a dairy farm in Maine, and he had this toy up on a shelf in his office with a bunch of other cow toys. This one was the most realistic, and therefor the most freaky. Also freaky because we weren't allowed to play with it..... » 7/10/10 12:09pm 7/10/10 12:09pm

All Together Now, Everybody Say, "Goodbye, Heather"

Over the past five weekdays, I've sat huddled with you here (metaphorically I mean), all of us bathed in the warm light of our computer screens, looking like we're actually working, when really were snortling at Terrence Howard's misogyny, Marie Claire writer Allison Glock's hypocrisy, reading long narrative… » 8/22/07 7:30pm 8/22/07 7:30pm

TMZ Sincerely, Honestly Cares About The Children

TMZ posted a photo of Courteney Cox and David Arquette with their little daughter Coco Cox rowing happily along in a kayak a little while ago. Coco is sitting her dad's lap, and guess what—she isn't wearing a life jacket! So TMZ got its "Celebrity Justice" knickers all knotted up, and they checked and found that… » 8/22/07 7:00pm 8/22/07 7:00pm

Mark Morford at the San Francisco Chronicle has a totally loopy-funny piece up, which is set in the future and written from the point of view of Henry Hager, the fiance of Jenna Bush. "Here's a funny. After any home run, I'll down whatever's left of my beer and suck in a big mouthful of air and then belch her name… » 8/22/07 6:45pm 8/22/07 6:45pm

Heather Johnston, one of the 19-year-old "Barbie Bandits" who took a Georgia-based Bank of America for $11,000 earlier this year, is going to the big house, despite the best efforts of her parents. During the sentencing the judge noted that she "was seen smiling during the theft," and we couldn't help but sympathize.… » 8/22/07 4:45pm 8/22/07 4:45pm

Although it has recently come to our attention that constipation is as much if not more of a problem for women than men, men also have days when they need to induce gentle release—or, in the case of this product from 1936, explosive diarrhea. The happy housewife in this ad from ModernMechanix gave her husband some NR… » 8/22/07 3:45pm 8/22/07 3:45pm

Pete Doherty's cat, Dinger ("slang for for syringe" the UK's Digital Spy helpfully tells us!) recently gave birth to a litter of kittens, one of which is reportedly being examined by vets who think it may have ingested cocaine. Related: Pete Doherty is a Bastarding Bastard. [Digital Spy] » 8/22/07 2:45pm 8/22/07 2:45pm

"Research suggests that, contrary to the stereotype, women's navigation skills can be better than men's. But this ability comes to light only when there is food to be found — in particular, items laden with calories. It is thought the gender differences may be a legacy of the ancient hunter-gatherer way of life on the… » 8/22/07 1:45pm 8/22/07 1:45pm

'Sex And The City': Like Your Period, It Just Keeps Coming Back

This summer, the New York Observer has been re-running Candace Bushnell's Sex And The City columns from 1995. We've thought about asking them why, but we know they'll just say something about how "they're as relevant now as they were then" when we know the answer is really, "so we don't have to pay anyone to write… » 8/22/07 1:30pm 8/22/07 1:30pm

Riding The Daily Candy Train, High On Cocaine

We'll tell you what kind of candy they're giving out over at the Daily Candy: The crack kind! Today, administrative assistants and mumsy accountants everywhere recoiled in horror when they realized that the internet's biggest cheerleader for conspicuous consumption was NSFW. At Daily Candy Everywhere a (sexually)… » 8/22/07 11:30am 8/22/07 11:30am

Meet Mark Ames: Hater of Adam Levine And Sufferer Of "Johnny Depp…

Today's New York Observer introduces us to our new crush, Mark Ames, the editor of Moscow-based magazine eXile, who wrote the story that was circulating around the Internet last week in which Adam Levine of Maroon Five ("our generation's Police") was quoted as saying that tennis star Maria Sharparova was like a "dead… » 8/22/07 9:30am 8/22/07 9:30am

It's Official: Being A Woman Kinda Sucks (Except For The Love Of…

Every once in a while it becomes clear that in a lot of ways, being a woman is an unbelievably raw deal. As if it's not enough that once a month blood comes burbling out of our vaginas, as several articles in the news today attest, each stage of our lives tends to be accompanied by the looming threat of some kind of… » 8/21/07 7:00pm 8/21/07 7:00pm

Dear Lauren: What I Can Offer You Is Probably Less Than Most

Lauren and Luke had been dating for several months, and Lauren thought it could become serious, especially when, on Valentine's Day, Luke stared soulfully into her eyes and asked if he could ask her an important question. For the past six months, Luke said, he'd been carrying on a phone and email relationship with a… » 8/21/07 6:30pm 8/21/07 6:30pm

Best Quotes From Ann "Ass Creamer" Coulter Over the Last "Saggysack"…

Some site called 'Right Wing News' has compiled a list of "The Best Quotes From The Last Year Of Ann Coulter Columns." (We think they're totally serious!) Coulter quotables like "Democrats resolutely refuse to tell the poor the secret to not being poor: Keep your knees together until marriage," are pretty funny on… » 8/21/07 6:00pm 8/21/07 6:00pm

What Not To Wear (If You're Fat)

The Mirror has a list of tips on what to wear if you feel you're thin and want to "dress yourself curvy." "Many skinny women don't feel sexy, they feel gawky or boyish." Oh really? Boo-hoo. (Guess what "curvy" women feel like? Shrek!) "Being tall and thin there is a long list of clothes that you can wear," the story… » 8/21/07 2:30pm 8/21/07 2:30pm

Cable TV In India Creating Class Of Feminist Couch Potatoes

There's a piece in Slate today about how in rural India, newly-available cable TV programs featuring strong, educated, working female characters are having an effect on the attitudes of local women. Although something in the tone of the piece annoys — one suspects that the writer, Joel Waldfogel, is kind of an … » 8/21/07 1:00pm 8/21/07 1:00pm

Lost a little weight lately? It's probably your early-onset Alzheimer's disease. Women who develop dementia usually lose a small amount of weight ten years or more before their first symptoms appear, a new study suggests. As a whole, "women destined to become demented as a group became lighter and weighed less than… » 8/21/07 9:45am 8/21/07 9:45am

Today God's Creatures Opened Up A Can Of Whup-Ass

In the criminal justice system, sexually-based offenses committed by animals are considered especially heinous. "I'd say it's probably been playing, or it may be even a sexual sort of thing," Queensland police Detective Senior Constable Craig Gregory told the Associated Press earlier today (or yesterday or maybe even… » 8/20/07 7:00pm 8/20/07 7:00pm

Breaking! In Hollywood, Thin is In!

Hollywood is like one of those sorority houses where the pipes are always having to be replaced because all the bulimics who live there have eroded them with rivers of vomit. Every few years some plumber trudges out and does the filthy work of removing the puke-encrusted pipes, and the plumber reports back to the dean… » 8/20/07 6:30pm 8/20/07 6:30pm